Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Disappointment to others

What do you do when you feel like you're a disappointment to others?

I was brave this week, in the fact that I said "NO" to a committment that I'd originally said yes to. Another friend asked me what God said to me about this committment....and I replied, "He hasn't said anything!" That's what I realized that perhaps I was doing my committment only to help my friend out. No other reason. As I thought about it more, I realized that I was not going to be a joyful servant doing this committment and I was brave to write an email, backing out. My problem is I feel like I've let this other person down. I so admire her in so many ways and I don't want to be a disappointment to her. I was excited about the position at first because she asked me!! The more I thought about it...I don't get excited about going to this Bible Study anymore, I'd be putting in long hours of service after teaching all day, and I didn't want to become a bitter servant.

Still....I know I am a people pleaser and having anyone think disappointing thoughts about me kinda has me with my tail between my legs. I know this friend still loves me, she appreciated my honesty and we both know that God has someone out there that is RIGHT for the job. How do I move on from how I feel, though? (and I haven't gotten any word on what exactly I should be doing!! Waiting, waiting, waiting)

In the meantime, I've got two little beagle boys who love to go on walks after they've been cooped up in their crate all day. They need me!!!! (and they love me just the way I am!)


The Farmer's Wife said...

Boundaries...I do believe I will struggle with them all my days! You know, my four year old daughter has NO problem saying the word "No!" In fact, it's one of her favorite words. She's not a people pleaser by any stretch of the imagination, and I could take lessons.

I think it's good to practice with good friends. And you can tell them what you're doing, too!

Thanks for the beagle pictures! We've missed them, the little stinkers.

You're so close to'll make it, Kerri!

mholgate said...

Hang in there Kerry. It is hard to be honest and step down from something you have already committed to...especially when it has to do with changing lives.

You are not a disappointment. If anything, you are pleasing in God's sight for stopping to consider what His will for you really is in this season of your life.

Blessings! I am praying for you. (I'm a people pleaser at heart also.)


mholgate said...

P.S. Sorry to spell your name wrong! Typo! :)

Anonymous said...

I can relate to this.... I think that's where we must live by the priorities we set for ourselves. Then, when opportunitites arise we can make our decision based on whether or not adding it would prevent us from being true to our top priorities. PS ~~~ Don't you just love dogs? No matter what, they love you and want to be with you. :)