Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Cookie Rules

Christmas Cookie Rules
(from my Dallas/Ft Worth friend Lisa, who is the cookie baking monster during the holidays!)

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eatingyour second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, rule#1 is yours also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many caloriesto lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street"have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

I ALWAYS trust Lisa with her words of wisdom!! I'm sure Fitness Boot Camp is happening right after Christmas, huh?


benjyjen said...

Wow! You just took a ton of guilt off my plate - hey... now I have more room for cookies! Thanks!

Kailana said...

Howdy! You have a Christmas Spirit Award waiting for you at my blog...

Anonymous said...

I am sooooooo relieved.I guess the dozen no bake cookies I ate last night are all no calorie due in part to reasons 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9and 10

Just A Mom (call me JAM for short) said...

These are my kind of rules! I am feeling sooo much better about all those goodies I've been eating.